I grew up in a beautiful town called Southport, It’s beautiful on a summer evening, I have never seen the sky contain so many bright and wonderful colours.
I have many friends here...Megan Henderson, being the closest person too me.
She is my bestest friend and I love her so much, Not even heaven and hell can separate us...baring mind, we will more than likely go to the same place, we’re inseparable.
I love her with all my heart!
I cried for hours&days when we fell out and when we made up... {Over text} ...When we saw each-other in town,we ran at each-other and bear-hugged each-other saying how much we loved each of us.
It was so cute:3
We plan to move in with her mum in Holland and save up cash to buy our own house/apartment.
It will be amazing there...I've seen quite a lot of photos and such, it's beautiful.
I really can not wait! It will be a new start for us...a new life, new scenery...most of all...new memories!
We will be going to ALL the festivals and concerts together, I'm crying as I'm writing this because It's such a long time until we do, but it's worth the wait!:3
I live with my beautiful mum,Erica and my father,Matthew.
I have two younger sisters, one younger brother, and one older, step-brother.
I am closer to my step-brother because I know I can trust him with anything I want to tell him, he helps me if I have a problem, and so does his girlfriend.
I’ve had a tough couple of weeks, but I don’t wish to say.
Also...one thing I am suffering from, is my Auntie.
She has terminal cancer and I don’t want to loose her.
She was diagnosed with cancer,earlier in 2011 and it hurts too know she doesn’t have long left.
If there was any way of me finding a way to get rid of it, I would.
She has been through radium,and chemo-therapy...yet, nothing is working...
My grandad has/had cancer on his lungs, but the hospital has successfully managed to reduce the tumour and has left him feeling well and healthy, so I’m glad about that.
I am extremely happy with it but still...my auntie...
I love her aswell, I love her honestly...more than my mum and dad.
She means a lot to me and has stuck by me through thick&thin.
My life without knowing she’s there for me will be hard, When...when she’s gone...
I will visit her grave everyday...or as much as I possibly can.
I will be distraught, I’m struggling in school because I’m worried that one day I will come home and she won’t be there...She won’t be there to hold my hand, or hug me.
She is only 30, she has so much life ahead of her and I’m so upset that her life has been reduced, there is a fundraiser at a local resteraunt in Southport, at the Vincent Hotel, it’s beautiful there...the staff are so nice and it’s just lovely!
It’s £30 to go...but I can’t afford it, but neither can my mum or dad.
Anyhow...Sometimes I dream about her, about all the amazing things we used to do, so many memories...I want to reminisce...but it hurts.
She wants me to go round and have a girly-day with her, watching movies and eating a load of ice-cream and chocolate.
I would love to do that:3
Other than my auntie, my life is pretty well.
I have wonderful friends...an, awkward family.
I couldn’t ask for anything better! I’m doing better with some of my schoolwork, especially in my Art lessons...I’m proud of that.
AND...
I haven’t self-harmed in 46 days! I have had a few weak moments, but never resorted to using a razor or anything alike self-harming.
I’m proud...
It’s hard to stop,but i’ve learnt, it doesn’t work.
It takes the pain for the moment, and you feel the pain the next day from your bloody cuts rubbing on your school jumper/ hoody.
I’m not going to resort to a razor again, It doesn’t help the matter...It just makes it worse when you get caught, which urges you again to do it.
My scars are bad on my leg, but on my arms, you can’t notice they are there unless you point them out.
If I feel upset, I listen to my beautiful babies...Black Veil Brides.
Set the World on Fire is the song I listen too when I want to cut, or Carolyn.
I’m not sure why,but the songs give me messages...
For example...
In STWOF, It tells me that I should fight against the urge...don’t let it over come me, fight past the obstacle.
and in ‘Carolyn’ it tells me, I’m not alone and that there is help out there to help me through it.
I love the band, many people think Andy,Jake,Jinxx,CC and Ashley are ‘’Emo fags’‘ or whatever...I honestly think they are 5 of the many famous people that haven’t lost there touch with fans, and haven’t become ‘Celebrity Induced’ {If that is the word}
It's all thanks to the members of Black Veil Brides, for their music they create.
Also, to The Butterfly Project for their advice on helping me get through it.
Most of all...Too my best friend for being there for me through thick&thin.
-----------------------------------------Relationships?--------------------------------------------
We all know I've had MANY, MANY relationships since I started using Piczo.
Guys I've dated...Hmm....
Connor Morris...
Lee Burke...
Aidan Roberts... {First Love} :/
Dan Lawrenson...
Dylan Moody...
Martin Curry...
Jayden Little...
Alex Wallwork...
&Currently dating Simon Preston c:
Yes I've made out as-if I've been 'Heartbroken' but I had never felt that way completely like when me&Aidan broke up...
I'm over him now...Or so I have made myself think, I still look at him as-if he's all I still want. Though...He's not.
He's different...Oh well c:
We had a hard time when we broke up...
On October 1st 2011, I admitted how much I've loved him for three years. He felt the same way, but was shy to admitting it. I waited for three years...and had about 4 weeks with him.
It was worth being in his warm arms, listening to his heartbeat, having our movie days and such...
But like I said..I'm over it.
I upset myself the other day though...
A girl I don't know walked past me wearing a Black Veil Brides top and I shouted at the top of my lungs...''I LOVE BVB AND I SAW THEM ON OCTOBER 2ND LAST YEAR'' ...I was mistaken, October 2nd was the day me and Aidan got together..October 11th was the day that I saw BVB.
I sat thinking to myself how much of a fool I made...I felt horrible, I felt closed in on myself.
I went home and cried..again.
But I know I'm over it!
He's just a boy...and I'm just a girl.
He was my first true love...I'm not afraid to admit that.
But yeah...I'm over that...
Love...Can be for just a moment...or for a lifetime...One day I will find my love..the one I'm meant to be with for the rest of my days, who knows...It could be anybody!
Well guys...
That's my story so far.
Love you all so much!:3
